


can i get a friendship refund

by wayward_s



Series: Seijoh Week 2020! [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (tentatively tags humour), Day 5: Memes, Gen, Mayhaps, Seijoh Week 2020, Textfic, are you really friends, chatfic, chatroom, cursed conversations, if you and your friends havent had a conversation like this, is this a crack fic, messages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26282155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_s/pseuds/wayward_s
Summary: sir, your Chest💍studying. ping if you need memmMMmmakki daddyhm yes, its time to annoy iwaizumi
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro & Iwaizumi Hajime & Matsukawa Issei & Oikawa Tooru
Series: Seijoh Week 2020! [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903042
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45
Collections: Seijoh Week 2020





	can i get a friendship refund

**Author's Note:**

> vaguely based off a conversation that proceeded to break the discord voice chat for 2 hours and then continues to plague the server

**mmMMmmakki daddy:** @ **sir, your Chest** **💍**

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** i promise this is important

 **sir, your Chest** **💍** **:** what

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** id gladly have sex with a dragon if they were real

 **sir, your Chest** **💍** **:** ok so im going to need you put those words back the fuck in your mouth 

**sir, your Chest** **💍** **:** now

 **Horny for Death** **™:** no 

**Horny for Death** **™:** let the man speak

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** thank u, u sexy beast

 **Horny for Death** **™:** **😘**

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** anywhore. Firstly. Big Dick

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** IWAIZUMI DONT LEAVE THE SERVER I CAN YOU RUNNING 

**mmMMmmakki daddy:** COWARD

 **sir, your Chest💍:** i dont have to listen to this

 **sir, your Chest💍:** we have a test later this week

 **sir, your Chest💍:** i dont wanna fail

 **Horny for Death** **™:** the Pharisees said the same of Jesus Christ when he spoke of God’s Will

 **sir, your Chest💍:** mattsun you’re not even Christian how do you know that

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** Second. Hoard of Money, very sexy.

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** i already am looking for a sugar daddy and gold coins are very attractive

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** love me some ✨ambiance✨ while i get plowed

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** i hate that this is the first thing i read when i open the chat

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** take it back 🔫

 **Horny for Death** **™:** tink tink tink while we boom boom boom

 **sir, your Chest💍:** 🔫 shut the hell your mouth 🔫

 **sir, your Chest💍:** 🔫 this is your final warning 🔫

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** i just wanted to come here and ask if anyone wanted to meet up for lunch

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** but sure

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** dragon sex

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** this is fine

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** Oikawa-sama

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** Tooru sweatie,,,

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** dont come for me when you have said

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** that the thought of aliens and probing excited you

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** AND YOU OUT ME LIKE THIS

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** ON THE DAY OF MY DAUGHTER’S WEDDING

 **sir, your Chest💍:** mum can you come pick me up im scared

 **Horny for Death** **™:** what was your third point,

 **Horny for Death** **™:** O Wise Man

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** _THIRDLY_

**mmMMmmakki daddy:** i LOVE fire

 **sir, your Chest💍:** i thought i told you to shut up

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** fire can be very sexy

 **sir, your Chest💍:** im taking your other knee

 **sir, your Chest💍:** its mine now

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** can you take my ass instead

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** be gentle

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** STOP FLIRTING IM TRYING TO SPEAK

 **sir, your Chest💍:** ABOUT **DRAGON FUCKING**

 **sir, your Chest💍:** I DONT WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT

 **Horny for Death** **™:** ok if not dragons then how bout cryptids?

 **Horny for Death** **™:** cause sometimes Bigfoot looking 👌

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** all the cryptids in the world

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** and you say Bigfoot

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** Moth Man is _right there_

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** 🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑

 **Horny for Death** **™:** aliens,,,, bugs,,,,

 **Horny for Death** **™:** im uninviting you from my birthday party

 **sir, your Chest💍:** can you uninvite me from life

 **Horny for Death** **™:** nooo dont die ur so sexci ahah

 **Horny for Death** **™:** but anyway, krakens. Also hot

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** explain yourself

 **Horny for Death** **™:** tentacles

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** horrible i hate it

 **Horny for Death** **™:** what about Goatman?’

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** hnnng handles 

**Horny for Death** **™:** KDFHGKSGHS MAKKI

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** NO MAKKI NO

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** get you a man that supports you in life and in sex

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** am i right ladies @ **sir, your Chest💍**

 **Horny for Death** **™:** he’s not into mammals

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** fuck wait no u rite

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** Godzilla is pretty hot too

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** size kinks, i feel, i feel

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** right @ **sir, your Chest💍**?

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** @ **sir, your Chest💍**

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** @ **sir, your Chest💍**

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** @ **sir, your Chest💍**

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** @ **sir, your Chest💍**

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** @ **sir, your Chest💍**

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** @ **sir, your Chest💍**

 **sir, your Chest💍:** STOP

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** DONT RUN AWAY YOU COWARD

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** YOU STAN GODZILLA

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** I FIGURED YOU’D HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** GRACE US WITH YOUR WISDOM GAY OF THE MOUNTAINS

 **sir, your Chest💍:** GODZILLA IS A GOOD MOVIE AND A COOL MONSTER. 

**sir, your Chest💍:** I DONT WANT TO **_FUCK_ ** GODZILLA

 **Horny for Death** **™:** not even a true monster fucker smh

 **Horny for Death** **™:** @ **iwa-chan love me challenge** come get your mans

 **sir, your Chest💍:** im leaving. i need to study

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION AND WE NEED TO HAVE IT

 **sir, your Chest💍:** I DONT WANT ANY PART OF THIS CONVERSATION

 **sir, your Chest💍:** I ALREADY DEAL WITH YOUR DUMB FACE

 **sir, your Chest💍:** I DONT NEED TO KNOW WHAT MONSTER YOU’D LET RAW YOU, YOU _HEATHEN_

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** YOU SIGNED UP FOR THIS WHEN YOU BECAME MY FRIEND

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** IF YOU LOVED ME THEN WHO OR WHAT I FUCK SHOULD NOT DISTURB YOU SINCE ITS _MY_ PUSSY GETTING WRECKED

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** SFGHSHKHR MATTSUN YROU NMAE PLBSE

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** NO IWAIZUMI COEM BCAK HREE

 **Makki’s Wrecked** **™** **Coochie:** look what you did

 **Makki’s Wrecked** **™** **Coochie:** he’s officially left the server

 **Makki’s Wrecked** **™** **Coochie:** smh

 **Makki’s Wrecked** **™** **Coochie:** its gonna take weeks for us to get him to come home

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** ill DM him

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** he blocked me

 **mmMMmmakki daddy:** ill be back im gonna to his house to scream at him

 **Makki’s Wrecked** **™** **Coochie:** and there he go

 **Makki’s Wrecked** **™ Coochie** **:** whats the bet iwaizumi kills him

 **iwa-chan love me challenge:** very likely. 

**iwa-chan love me challenge:** also i still want lunch

 **Makki’s Wrecked** **™** **Coochie:** ill meet you at the station in twenty

**Author's Note:**

> guess which hanamaki line i may or may not have said in this monster sex saga?


End file.
